One brick at a time
by nighttimerunner
Summary: ""I can't believe I let you talk me into this," she grumbles, mostly to distract herself from the gentle press of Castle's fingers on her face." A 4x22 post-ep written for the ThankYouTerri campaign.


**Disclaimer: **Don't own them.

**A/N: **This is a prompt fill for the ThankYouTerri campaign. The prompt and a special message from the donor are at the end.

Dia, thank you again for being my beta. I owe you big time. You want a pony? :)

Takes place right after episode 4x22 'Undead Again'.

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><p><em>And, um, that wall that I was telling you about… I think it's coming down.<em>

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this," she grumbles, mostly to distract herself from the gentle press of Castle's fingers on her face.

She's had to endure the sweet torture for almost an hour now and her control is about to snap. And he's only touched her face and neck. She can't even imagine what it would be like to feel his hands on other parts of her skin – if he'd trail his fingers lower, past her shoulders, down, _down_… She snaps her eyes open – _when_ _did they even close? –_ and gives herself a mental shake. This is _so_ not the right time.

"Why is this taking so long, anyway? It's just a zombie makeup. Don't you just need to slap on some green and gray face paint and I'm good to go?" she asks, masking her wandering thoughts with irritation.

"Patience, young grasshopper. You cannot rush the genius," he says with a grin and she wishes he'd at least let her look in the mirror while he works. The grin on his face is unnerving.

"But since you mentioned it," he continues, "I was a bit surprised that you agreed to attend the zombie walk with me. Pleasantly surprised, but still. _And_ you let me do your makeup. You must really like me." Based on the look on his face, the last sentence wasn't meant be said out loud.

He presses his lips tightly together as if to keep any more unplanned words from escaping. His brow furrows in concentration as he turns his attention back to the makeup, but his eyes flicker to hers every now and then. He's waiting to see her reaction, but not pushing for it – the sweet man.

His words hang in the air between them and she could just change the subject. Much like last summer. But they've come so far since then. _She's_ come so far and has steadily chipped away at that wall. Maybe it's time to knock down some loose bricks.

"I really do." Obviously her answer catches him off guard because he seems flustered.

"Oh, good," he comments before completely changing the subject. "I think I'm ready with the makeup, so I'll leave you to change. I can wash my hands in the kitchen. Just meet me there when you're ready," he says in a rush. He spins quickly on his heels and is out of the bathroom before she even realizes what's happening. She shakes her head at his adorable fumbling and turns to face the mirror to survey his work.

_Whoa!_

He's good – like really good. Lifting her hand, she carefully touches the tips of her fingers to the green, gray and red paint covering her face, runs them over the strange texture. With the black lipstick and the bright green contacts she put on earlier, the zombie-look is remarkable. Maybe she'll ask him to do her makeup for his next Halloween party. Or not, as he'll probably suggest the slutty nurse outfit again. Just like every year.

She rolls her eyes at her own thoughts as she makes her way to the bedroom to finish putting on the costume Castle scavenged together for her. _Let's get this event out of the way before we start thinking about the next one._

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><p>Couple of hours later they're walking among the horde of zombies and she's actually enjoying herself. Of course, a lot of it is because of Castle. His boyish excitement is not only cute but also contagious and, after some initial hesitation and eyerolls, she's dragging her feet and groaning with the rest of them and has even "turned" a few people. She can't remember the last time she had so much fun.<p>

There's a group of "normals" ahead and Castle starts moving faster in that direction. She follows his example and soon catches up to him. But just as she's at his side, she trips on something and loses her footing. She stumbles and braces herself for the fall, but the impact never comes.

Instead, strong arms wraps around her waist and she's being pulled up. Once she's steady on her feet again she twists around to thank Castle and notices how his arms stay around her. The crowd moves slowly around them, but she doesn't care about anything else than his proximity.

"You okay?" he asks and his eyes are soft and full of concern and… Just like they used to be. And maybe it's that look or maybe it's the surreal setting of the zombie walk, but the words that come out are not the ones she planned on saying.

"I heard you. When I was shot, I heard what you said," she clarifies when he continues to gaze at her silently.

"I know," he says after a beat and her heart aches when he withdraws his hands.

"You know? Why didn't you say anything?" she asks and realizes it's the wrong thing to say when his eyes harden.

"Why didn't _I_ say any- Seriously?" His voice is as hard as his eyes and she has to turn her head away, can't bear to see the disappointment reflected in his gaze. He sighs and when he speaks again, it's with a softer tone.

"Because I figured you didn't feel the same way and were just hoping the issue would disappear if we never talked about it. And then I was dead set on proving to myself that I didn't care, that my heart didn't break over and over again every time I saw you. But I can't do it." She hates how defeated he sounds, hates that they've lost their chance because of her insecurities.

"To be honest, this was going to be my last case."

Her eyes snap to his. "Was?" she asks, hopeful. It's a small word, but right now it's everything to her.

"Yeah, was. These last few days have been so different - you have been different. And today, at the precinct, what you said about your wall… I don't know anymore, Beckett. I just want to know _why_. Why did you lie? Why did you disappear for three months?"

"Because I was an idiot?" she says with a self-deprecating laugh, but his unchanged expression tells her he's not letting her hide this time.

"No humor? Okay. At first it was about keeping you safe, keeping your family safe. You jumped in front of me Castle. The bullet could have hit _you_. And then I'd have to tell Alexis that her father is-" She can't finish the sentence, doesn't want to imagine that scenario. "And it would be because of me. I needed to go somewhere far enough that you wouldn't be in danger. You understand that, don't you?" she asks, but gets no answer.

"And when I came back, I was so broken. I wasn't good enough, Castle." She pauses when he scoffs and gives him a pointed look.

"You called me extraordinary and I was very far from that image. I needed to heal and thought I had to do that on my own, like I've done in the past. But after the summer, having you as a partner and a friend has helped even more than the therapy. And I've realized how stupid I was to keep you away." She feels the sting of tears, but refuses to let them fall. She wants – _needs_ – him to hear everything without her breaking apart.

"If I could go back and change the way I handled things, I would. I do really care about you." She keeps her eyes locked into his, but he just shrugs and hums noncommittally.

She raises a hand to his cheek and brushes her thumb against the bit of skin not covered by the makeup. "I know you're angry with me and you don't trust me, and you have every right. But please believe that I care about you and that I'm really sorry for what I did."

"You're right, I'm still angry," he says, but stops her from pulling her hand away by covering it with his own. "Yes, I'm still angry, but I do believe you. And I still care about you, too." He turns his head slightly and places a kiss on her palm, letting his lips linger for a moment.

Her heart flutters in her chest and she's trying to form a coherent sentence. All words have seemed to escape her mind with the touch of his lips.

But before she can even make a sound, one of their fellow walkers shoves Castle's shoulder.

"Hey! Zombies don't do that sweet and tender stuff. Come on, you need to move or you'll lose the group."

Moment broken, they look at each other nervously.

"You want to continue? I think we can catch up if we walk like normal people. We just can't let anyone see us do it," she says and he chuckles in response.

"Nah, I think I've dragged my feet enough for the night. Unless, you want to stay?"

"I'm fine thanks. I've seen enough zombies to last a lifetime. So… You want to continue this at my place?" she asks, gesturing between them.

"Beckett, I don't think-"

"Oh! No, I didn't mean that. Not that I'd mind _that_, but I was thinking we should probably talk more and I'm not feeling tired yet. But you probably need to get home because of Alexis and I'm rambling, so I'm going to shut up now." He chuckles softly and she's thankful that the paint covers the embarrassed blush she can feel warming her cheeks.

"I do want to continue this, but maybe the middle of the night isn't the best time," he says and waits until she nods in agreement. "But I was going to spend Alexis' graduation night distracting myself with a movie marathon. Why don't you join me and we can finish this talk then?"

"It's a date," she says with a smile that threatens to split her face in two. His answering grin isn't any less bright.

They share a cab and he walks her to her door. She thanks him by pressing a soft kiss to his lips. A kiss full of hope for the future.

**End.**

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><p><strong>Prompt:<strong> Undead Again, post episode, Castle turns Beckett into a zombie. *Turning Beckett into a zombie means make up -wise not virus-wise.

Filled as a gift to Kimmiesjoy, for a generous contribution from SandraG_1981 to YoungStoryTellers dot com slash ThankYouTerri.

_Kim, I know you wanted a fic for your birthday and it's not that I haven't started it yet…I have! Sadly it's me we are talking about so 8 months later you still have no fic. I know, I know, sorry! lol I WILL finish it, I promise! Meanwhile, I'm giving you this one written by some very generous and talented person! __I hope you'll like it! Hugs, Sandra!_

See all the prompts and fills at ThankYouTerri dot tumblr dot com.


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